{Cupcakes from our pastor's wife, Karen. They were amazing!}

{Our nephew, Baylen, hanging out with Nutmeg.}

{Nutmeg went on a lot of long, muddy walks, meaning she also took a lot of baths.}

{Dedicated dog washer: Joe!}

{Self-portrait, camera-style.}

Although our weekend was, undoubtedly, a sad occasion, we did have some wonderful time with family over the past four days. We took countless walks with Nutmeg and my mom around the golf course, ate a lot of wonderful meals with family members and reminisced over family memories. My uncle Alvin also shared a bit of family history over dinner on Friday night, which all of us soaked up. 

Now that I've returned home, I'm realizing how exhausted this weekend left me. Thankfully, we are enjoying a day of relaxation - watching basketball, going for a jog outside, and spending a quiet night in preparing to get back to a semi-normal routine. 

I hope you had a wonderful weekend, all!

Broccoli Beef

Before I say anything else, I want to thank all of you for your kindness and support during this bittersweet time for our family. Although I knew the community found though blogging was supportive, I can't begin to describe how supported I felt by the community created on this site. Through Tweets, Facebook messages, e-mails and blog comments, you made your support known. Thank you!

Funerals and visitations aren't really picture-taking affairs, so I only have a couple photos from the last couple days. One was, not surprisingly, of food and the other of family. I would imagine that Grandma Dorothy would have been okay with that. We celebrated her life in a beautiful way, with music and worship and lots of hilarious stories. Oh, and did I mention good food? It was all as beautiful as a funeral could be.

I intended to post the following earlier this week, but with all the craziness going on, it got pushed under the rug. So without further ado, here is a little tasty inspiration for your weeknight dinners that will have your family begging for more.

Living in Iowa, I'm a big fan of the blog Iowa Girl Eats. Kristin is bursting with energy and her blog is packed with creative recipes and challenging workout routines. She seems to abide by the 'workout hard, eat well' mentality, which I love.

Joey has always had a soft spot for Chinese food, so when this recipe for Easy Broccoli Beef popped up on Iowa Girl Eats last week, I knew it would be the perfect meal to make for dinner. Although I don't eat meat, I do get excited about cooking with different cuts of meat. Even if you don't see flank steak in the butcher's counter, make sure to ask. My local store had frozen flank steak in the back that suited this recipes just fine.

This recipe was a huge hit at our house, and I was happy that I could enjoy the broccoli, along with a little brown rice. I can't say for sure, but this seems like a dish that could be made with Tofu quite easily, too. Just a thought!

Hop on over to Kristin's site for the quick and easy recipe, which can be found HERE!

Saying Goodbye

On Monday morning after almost 91 years of life, my Grandma Dorothy passed away after suffering a stroke the week before.

To say she was an amazing woman would be an understatement. An educated woman and teacher by trade, my grandma devoted much of her life to being a wife, raising her five children and managing life on the farm - which from what I've been told was packed with hard, physical work.

Dorothy's greatest joy was, without a doubt, her family. She lived for her kids and grand kids, always calling to see what they were up to and making sure everyone was safe and doing well. Dorothy was a devout, if not the most devout, reader of Espresso and Cream, and never did a ball game, school play or musical pass without grandma in attendance. And, most importantly, her greatest desire was that her family learned to love and serve the Lord in all situations and circumstances.

For me personally, my grandma's legacy lies in the kitchen. I remember my mom telling me that no one could make a pie (and more specifically a pie crust) quite like her. Although her pies would never win awards based on presentation, they certainly delivered on taste. She was the keeper of our family's Thanksgiving stuffing recipe and even taught my cousin, Angela, and me how to make Saucijsjes this past Christmas.

Perhaps one of the more amazing facets of Grandma Dorothy's personality was how humble she was. Even in areas where she excelled (trading stocks, baking and cooking, etc.) she was not one to brag or talk about herself. Her interests were, first and foremost, for those around her, and it showed by the way she impacted so many.

I suppose this is more a string of random thoughts than a cohesive post. But I'm finding it a bit difficult to put a lifetime of experiences and sweet memories into a few short paragraphs. I just wanted to share with you a little glimpse into what an amazing woman she was and share with you where I am at this week.

Thanks for your support.
Madison

No Fat Talk Tuesday: Laura's Story

{The day I felt the most beautiful I ever have in my entire life. Although I must confess, I had one flair up where secretly I was grateful wedding dresses are traditionally long. Doh!}

I have been looking forward to sharing Laura's story with you ever since she offered be a part of No Fat Talk Tuesday. Laura was a dear friend of mine in college, and when I first met her I was blown away by her joyful spirit and love for life. Seriously, this girl just screams 'confidence.' Which is what makes her story even more interesting. I know Laura was nervous to share this story, but I'm so grateful she did, because I can imagine there are plenty of women who can relate. Thanks, Laura! (oh, and don't forget to check out Laura's blog, Oakland Avenue) - Madison 

It wasn’t until high school that I really started picking apart my body. My hips were too big, my legs not slender enough, and I considered my ankles two sprains away from the dreaded "cankels." My arms were acceptable and my stomach was decent, but my legs — oh my legs. You see, I have what I call "marshmallow legs," legs that are not what I would define as lean or “runway ready,” legs that I wouldn't have picked if I had a choice, legs that I was so embarrassed of, I rarely wore shorts in order to hide them as much as possible.

Of course, I had to wear shorts at times; I played basketball and ran cross-country (in a secret effort to streamline my legs), but I was self-conscious the entire time. On the outside I was happy, self-assured and confident, but on the inside I was self-conscious, negative and insecure. No one would guess that my thoughts and actions revolved around my embarrassment of my legs. I dreaded pool parties and trips to the lake and often wore shorts over my swimming suit under the guise of "modesty." On the rare occasion I did show my legs, I often assumed people around me were thinking about how ugly my legs were. It was all I could think about — how could they not be as well?

I tried lifting weights. I tried running. I tried not eating. I tried it all, but none of it gave me the results I was looking for to keep up with the habit — but I still remained obsessed with trying to “fix” my legs.

I berated my legs daily, picking apart every bulge, dent and shape. In the back of my mind, I always thought of how I would trade anything, anything for pretty legs. How my legs were the reason I wasn't getting asked on a date or the reason I couldn’t go out to the lake with friends. They were the sole reason I didn’t like the way I looked, and at times, the reason I didn’t like myself.

Then, one night in college, something snapped. I'm not going to tell you I suddenly loved my legs. No, I simply began to hate the feeling of hating my legs. I realized that I hated feeling restricted, self-conscious, discontent and ugly because of my hatred of my legs. I began to hate the fact that I've hated my legs for all these years.

That night, I realized that I was defining my entire life — what I did, thought, wore and said — by my perception of my legs and my negative self-talk had taken away an enormous amount of enjoyment from my life. From that day on I made a truce with the war on my legs. I promised to get rid of the “leg-lies” (or “fat-talk” as Madison would say) from my life. I didn’t want to think about them any more — it just took up too much brain power. Daily, I strove to think positive thoughts about myself and my legs, and I vowed that I would wear shorts nearly every day in the summer, and I would never again decline a trip to the lake out of my leg-insecurities.

  {I made peace with my legs before I met him, but more than anyone, my husband has helped me find
acceptance of my body.}

 

At first, it took an enormous amount of courage and “self-pep-talk” to bare my legs in public on a regular basis, but over time my mind began to empty of thoughts of “what people around me thought of my legs” and instead I began to enjoy my new found freedom in having confidence in who I was and what I looked like. No more desperately hoping a photo was taken from waist up, no more wondering if that new person I met would judge my legs — life was so much easier when I didn’t worry about those things. They no longer mattered to me and I finally began to accept myself. It was not easy, but over time it has become easier.

Those who know me may think I’m being too hard on myself, and my legs “are not that bad” —but isn’t that the curse of fat talk? That it stops us from seeing the truth? That it illusions us with insecurities, blasts us with lies, and berates us with worthlessness? I nearly backed out of writing this ten different times, wondering why in the world would I admit all the gory details of my insecurities on a very public and popular blog, when I never whispered a word of it growing up?

Then I remember: It’s because I’m willing to bet most of you have your own “marshmallow legs.” Some part of yourself that you have allowed to define yourself, and I want to encourage you today to let. it. go. It’s not worth it. Stop confining yourself to a mediocre form of happiness because you just can’t seem to “get over” that problem area – be it your stomach, arms, hair, weight or whatever. I know how women’s minds work – that annoying fat talk voice is always there, always pestering you, berating you and telling you lies. I heard it every day for years, until I finally got up the guts to stop it.

I said it earlier and I’ll say it again, it hasn’t been easy, but it has become easier. And you can do it. I promise. You may not have a light bulb moment like I did in college, but I hope at some point the switch is flipped for you. Maybe it will be in one crazy instant, or maybe it will be slowly turned on over time, but either way, know that there’s someone out there rooting for you – someone who’s been there in the trenches and has found acceptance of her body. If I can do it, you can do it too. 

I am looking for No Fat Talk Tuesday guest posters for the spring and summer months. If you are interested, email me (madisonjanemayberry@gmail.com) for more information.  

Broccoli-Avocado Sandwich

Sometimes I hesitate to give you a recipe for a sandwich. I mean, who really needs a recipe for two slices of bread filled with whatever you have on hand in your pantry, right? Then again, everyone loves


 Joey and I were eating lunch yesterday after cleaning the house for two hours(!!) (that man is a master at cleaning bathrooms) and the sandwich I was eating had Joe scratching his head. Broccoli? On a sandwich? I say why not!

The problem I have with vegetarian sandwiches in the winter months is the lack of in-season produce that typically finds itself on veg-friendly sandwiches. Tomatoes at this time of year? Not a chance. Cucumbers? Hah. Sprouts? Seems like everyone is dying from eating them at Jimmy Johns. Winter means a girl has got to get creative.

This killer sandwich is filled with mashed avocado, blanched broccoli (broccoli that is cooked in boiling water for just a minute or two), Laughing Cow cheese and yellow or Dijon mustard. Although it may sound a bit strange, the combination really can't be beat. And nutritionally, it's pretty stellar, too. Healthy avocado-fat, fiber-rich broccoli, whole grains, you get the picture.

I didn't toast the bread this time, but if I were to pack this sandwich for a lunch at work, I think toasting would help prevent the bread from getting too soggy. And if you're not a vegetarian, this sandwich would be killer with a little of thinly-sliced turkey or roast beef.

Joe and I are off to the gym to try out my new running shoes, go to church, take Nut on a walk and lounge around in our newly-cleaned house. Have a happy Sunday, everyone!

Broccoli-Avocado Sandwich
Ingredients
*2 slices 100% whole wheat bread
*1/2 small to medium avocado, sliced
*Kosher salt 
*1/2 cup blanched broccoli florets, chopped
*1 teaspoon yellow or dijon mustard
*1 Laughing Cow Mozzarella and Tomato Basil cheese wedge

Instructions
*Spread the avocado slices onto one slice of the whole wheat bread. Sprinkle with a pinch of kosher salt. Top with the chopped broccoli florets.
*On the second slice of bread, spread the mustard and the Laughing Cow cheese wedge. Combine the two slices of bread. Slice in half.

Happy Cooking!
Madison

Walking Down Memory Lane

This morning I caught myself walking down memory lane by sifting through old pictures on Facebook. Man, there's really no better way to feel like time is flying by than to look at old pictures, is there? I feel like just yesterday I was beginning sorority recruitment at Iowa State. Time sure does fly! Here are a few (very old) pictures for a little Friday fun. 

{Senior year school play. I don't remember much about the plot, other than I don't think it was very good.}

{Sorority recruitment in 2007. Nothing says intimidation like talking to a bunch of sorority girls for five days straight while they decide if they like you, right?}

{Traveling to Paris in 2009.}

{Hanging out on the set of The Rachael Ray Show with Rachael and Jamie Oliver.}

{Sorority snacking at its finest.}

{Dressed up for an 80's themed house party.}

{Traveling to Spain with my mom and cousin, Angela.}

Now I've got travel fever! I guess I'll just have to settle for our weekend plans for dinner out with new friends and shopping for new running shoes. 

Anyone else have fun weekend plans?

 

Healthier Whole Wheat Pizookie

 

Are you in the 'I need something sweet after dinner' club with me? Even if it's nothing big, just a piece of chocolate or a mug of diet hot chocolate, I have to have a little something for dinner to feel complete. Other times, I crave something more substantial, like a cookie or ice cream. Or, in this case, a pizookie.

I was first introduced to the concept of a pizookie by Fitnessista, who has an undying love for these chocolate chip cookies baked up pizza/cake style. And now I totally understand why. Thick and gooey chocolate chip cookies? What's not to love.

But since my craving for pizookies struck during the middle of the week (not typically the day I choose to indulge in a decadent dessert), I decided to get a little creative and make the pizookies you saw in last week's post a little healthier and less guilt-inducing. So what did I do? Here's the rundown:
-Used 100% whole wheat flour
-Used Egg Beaters in place of regular eggs
-Cut back the sugar by half and used a mashed banana instead
-Reduced the butter from 8 tablespoons to 4 tablespoons

The results were fantastic! Although Joey was pretty skeptical when I told him I had made a healthy dessert, he was a believer at first bite. Keep in mind, these do taste healthy and don't taste like a typical cookie (they are more muffin-like), but this dessert really hit the spot on a Thursday night. I baked these in 4-inch ramekins from Target, but keep in mind that a serving is for 1/2 a pizookie. Not to worry, the serving is still pretty substantial and it's a great reason to sit down with your loved on and share a dessert together. 

Healthier Whole Wheat Pizookie
Ingredients
*1 1/2 cups whole wheat four
*1/2 teaspoon baking soda
*1/4 tsp. salt
*1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
*1/2 cup granulated sugar
*4 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
*1 medium banana, mashed
*1/4 cup liquid egg whites (Egg Beaters) or 1 large egg, lightly beaten
*1/4 cup dark chocolate chips or chopped dark chocolate pieces

Instructions
*Preheat oven to 350°F. Lightly grease four (4 inch) oven-going ramekins (I am guessing the jumbo muffin cups would work just as well). Set aside.
*In a small bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. In a second bowl, combine the sugar, butter, banana and liquid egg whites. Beat until well combined.
*Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients. Stir until just combined. Stir in the chocolate pieces.
*Divide batter among the four greased ramekins and bake for 18 to 21 minutes, until the edges are set and the center is just lightly soft. Remove from oven. Cool slightly. Drizzle with chocolate syrup, if desired, and enjoy warm.

Nutrition Facts per serving: 220 cal., 8 g fat (4.8 g saturated fat), 16 mg chol., 36 g carbohydrate, 17 g sugar, 3.5 g dietary fiber, 4 g protein