Honestly, it has taken me a long time to find the right words to tell my story. Everyone has a story and my struggle with weight and health is no more important than your story. Today, my hope is that for anyone else struggling with their self esteem, know that you are already beautiful! To borrow a phrase from one of my favorite songs by Jonny Diaz, ''You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do, so there could never be a more beautiful you"
Nine years ago, I thought I was healthy. Anyone from the outside looking in would see that I ate three solid meals a day and did plenty of exercise. You know the old phrase "gaining the Freshman 15"? Well, that applied to me but in the reverse. In fact, if anything, I lost weight between high school and my college years, and not in a healthy way.
Let's back up a bit to my early years in high school, when I probably weighed around 130 pounds. I stayed busy and fit by running every day, playing competitive softball and being a ballerina. Even with all the physical activity, I somehow came to the conclusion that I was 'fat' and needed to be thinner like other ballerinas.
Fast forward to college. Instead of buying junk food, I religiously bought Slim Fast, smoothies, a few veggies to grill and chicken and fish. One more important fact: I never ate anything sweet. Ever. Not even fresh fruit! After months, I no longer felt fat and all my hard work seemed to be paying off. What I didn't realize what just how unhealthy I had become. My diet was not balanced (Slim Fast every day for breakfast?!) and pretty soon, it became evident that I couldn't keep eating this way long term.
After four years of eating this way, my body and mind decided it had enough. After I moved back home to finish college, I learned how to eat the right way. Thank God for my parents, who showed me with love that it was okay to eat occasional sweets and fruit(!) and truly eat healthy.
Even though in the past few years I've slowly put on 10-15 pounds, I know I'm healthier than ever. Don't get me wrong, it's easy to feel discouraged and let those negative 'fat' thoughts creep in. The most important thing is to know that now I'm healthier. With confidence I can say I've grown to love my body and accept that numbers on a scale aren't as important as being healthy in mind, body and soul.
Thank you, Iradis, for sharing your story! If you're interested in being a guest poster on No Fat Talk Tuesday, e-mail me (madisonjanemayberry@gmail.com) for more information!
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